Just Becuase It’s Called High School, Doesn’t Mean You Can Get High!

You do three things in the restroom: you take care of your bodily business, wash your hands, and get out. Occasionally, maybe you check yourself out in the mirror and fix your hair, but that is about it. These are basic, common needs that everyone has to take care of regularly, and thankfully, we have restrooms on campus to give people a place to fulfill those needs.

But when certain people use the restrooms as a little hideout to get high, staff has to come close them down.  Suddenly, I’m wandering around campus like a chicken with its head chopped off, looking for an open restroom, praying to God that he’ll let me find one before my bladder decides it wants to turn my boxer briefs into Soak City. And God forbid that I ever have to take a dump here on campus, because there’s always the chance I’ll land myself in a restroom that hasn’t been closed down, but that people have smoked in. So, I gotta sit there on the toilet and just breathe in all that stank and let it marinate into my clothes, and then when I get home, my mom starts asking me, ¨John, why do you smell like weed?¨ and I gotta explain to her that it wasn´t me; it was someone else.  But of course, she hates me and does not trust a word I say, so she is trying to punish me when my only crime was having to take a dump at school. And it takes like 45 minutes for me to finally convince her I was not doing anything sketchy. And since I spend so much time trying to absolve myself of some sin that I did not commit, I have less time to get all my homework done, and I end up getting even less sleep than normal that night. So when you decide you wanna go get high in the school restrooms, the rest of us suffer.

Don’t just take my word for it. The other day, my friend was on her period and had to put a new tampon in, she said she went to three different restrooms during lunch, which were all closed. By the time she got to the fourth one, her period juice had already oozed through her underwear and into her jeans. Nasty business.

We all know weed isn’t as harmful as cigarettes and actually has a bunch of health benefits, unless you count all the cancer-causing carcinogens and particulate matter. Some people care about not getting cancer, so for this reason and all the others listed above, please just go smoke somewhere else.